December 20, 2025: San Francisco loses power to 30% of the city. Traffic lights go dark. Chaos ensues.
Waymo robotaxis: “No signal detected… initiating eternal hazard-light disco mode.” Hundreds of them freeze mid-intersection like deer in headlights (except the headlights are just blinking sadly). Drivers behind them: honking symphony intensifies.
Tesla FSD cars: “Traffic light? Never heard of her.” They calmly treat dark intersections like 4-way stops, roll through smoothly using vision-only AI, and keep cruising like nothing happened.
Elon Musk, popping up on X five minutes later: “Tesla robotaxis completely unaffected. Thanks, billions of miles of training data including blackouts. Waymo who?”
Tesla AI account dropping the mic: “We trained on real-world apocalypse scenarios. Your move.”
Residents stuck in the jam: “Great, the future of transportation… and half of it just blue-screened because the stoplight took a nap.”
Moral of the story: When the grid goes down, one robotaxi fleet turns into expensive orange-blinking roadblocks… The other just shrugs and keeps driving.
Vision-only gang: 1 Lidar-and-traffic-light-dependent gang: 0
Who’s ready for the inevitable “But Tesla ran a stop sign!” counter-thread?
Dubai’s Beaches Now Cleaner Than Your Conscience Thanks to Ninja Robot Janitors