🚨 BREAKING: Tesla just launched insurance that’s basically “pay almost nothing… if you let the car drive itself.”
Translation from Elon-speak: “Congrats FSD users! Your premium is now the price of a Starbucks latte per month. Why? Because our robot drives better than you. Yes, YOU specifically.”
Traditional drivers: $300/month, crying in traffic. FSD owners: $12/month, sipping coffee while the car parallel parks itself perfectly and judges your old driving skills silently.
Tesla’s message to Geico, Allstate, and Progressive: “Cute premiums you got there. Shame if autonomy made them… irrelevant.”
Plot twist: If FSD ever phantom brakes into a ditch, your rate goes up to “oops” and you get a free Cybertruck towel to cry into.
Who’s switching to FSD just for the insurance hack? Be honest. 👇
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