Tesla Robotaxi Crash Rate in Austin: 3× Worse Than Humans… and They’ve Got a Safety Monitor Riding Shotgun

NHTSA just dropped the receipts on Tesla’s Robotaxi pilot in Austin:

• 9 crashes in ~500,000 miles
• That’s one crash every ~55,000 miles
• Average human driver? One police-reported crash every ~500,000 miles
• So… Robotaxi is crashing 3 times more often
• And every single vehicle still has a safety monitor sitting right there watching it happen

The safety driver is basically the world’s most expensive co-pilot: “Sir, you’re about to hit that mailbox.” Robotaxi: “Hold my neural net.” bonk

Tesla fans: “But it’s still learning!” NHTSA data: “It’s learning how to file insurance claims faster than humans.”

At this rate, the safety monitors are going to unionize and demand hazard pay… or at least a “do not resuscitate” clause for when the car decides to yeet itself into a curb again.

Meanwhile, regular Austin drivers: “Cool, I’ll just keep driving myself. Seems safer.”

Who’s volunteering to be the next safety monitor? The job description now includes “emotional support human for anxious AI.”