EU to Gas Cars: “Never Mind the Ban… Just 90% Less Evil by 2035”

BREAKING: The EU’s bold “NO MORE GAS CARS AFTER 2035” plan just got the classic Brussels makeover.

After automakers cried, consumers shrugged, and charging stations remained mythical… EU officials are like: “Fine. We won’t BAN gas cars. We’ll just politely ask them to emit 90% less CO2. Pretty please? With a carbon tax on top?”

Translation: 2035 Europe = still full of gas cars, but now they’ll feel guilty about it.

Automakers popping champagne: “Victory! We get another decade to sell combustion engines… responsibly!”

Environmentalists: “This is like banning cigarettes but allowing ‘light’ cigarettes that only give you 90% cancer.”

Meanwhile China is over there selling 10 million EVs a year and laughing in Mandarin.

Moral of the story: Europe wanted to lead the green revolution. Ended up leading the “we tried” revolution instead.

Who saw this compromise coming? Everyone with a pulse and a gas station loyalty card.